Different cultures, similar familial hierarchies

The white men in the "Things fall apart" view the so called "barbarians" as totally different from themselves, but they actually have many similarities. One similarity I noticed was the way that they treat their women. In "Things fall apart", Okonkwo treats his wife like a child. He beats her when she disobeys him, and he rules over her. She brings him food, and basically does whatever he asks of her. His relationship with his wife is certainly more controlling than a modern relationship. When she does something wrong, he beats her up, and this is viewed as acceptable in his culture. The man of the house is the conquerer, and his wife and children must submit to him. This is similar to Torvald's relationship with Nora, though to a less extreme state. Torvald is also the controller of household. Though he doesn't physically abuse Nora, he treats her like a child by talking down to her and withholding money from her. Torvald rules the house, and Nora is basically just another one of the children. It is interesting to me that such different cultures from such different places with no contact with each other have the same familial hierarchy, where the husband is the absolute controller, and the wife takes the role of a child. This makes me wonder, in most cultures, what traits does man have that lead him to assume the role of leader in the family?